Soon, she'll be okay.
Description
Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.Psalm 30:5.
Links
It makes me sad that I’m ignored completely whenever she’s around. It’s always been this way ugh no me gusta.
It’s just so weird for me to not be able to tell you everything about like crushes and stuff ugh i hate this so much.
I’m so angry with myself. I’ve spent the past year sitting in my room because I was too scared everything to actually live my life. I became such a recluse as I let my friends all slip away and form great friendships with other people. Then, I’d do even less communication because I didn’t want to ruin those friendships. I’ve let down so many of my favorite people because I allowed me to lose myself. As much as I’d like to believe I was there for everyone and blame it on them for not talking to me about their issues, why should they? I wasn’t there. I was sitting behind my computer feeling sorry for myself, feeling so depressed and alone; when really, I did this to myself. Instead of fighting for the things and the friendships and everything I wanted, I’ve let them all slip away. It’s no one’s fault that I’m so pathetic, but my own. It’s not normal to be so happy that you actually begin to cry when you get invited to a party. It’s not normal to think when you’re hanging out with your best friend about how happy you are that they actually want you there. I’m the one that fell off the earth. Not anyone else. I’ve spent a year of what I thought would be resolved by wasting my life online, giving up on everything. Being online wasn’t the answer; spending time with the people in your live is. Reblogging meaningless images and putting yourself into an “artist darkness,” or whatever bullshit I was feeding myself, that doesn’t matter. It won’t fix you. The laughter and the relationships with the people that you have around you is what will fix you. I’ve learned this within the span of five days. Five. Too bad I couldn’t see this 365 days earlier. I am sorry for not being there. I’m back. I’m coming back, I promise. I’m sorry for putting you through this, and I hope you still want me in your life.
I have to do something significant in this life. I don’t know why, but I’m feeling crazy inspired without ideas. I just have to make a difference. I feel as though my time is running out. I can’t see myself living past 30, at most. Bitch, you got work to do. If I do nothing to create a lasting impact in this world, all of this, all of what I am, is a waste.
i’m scared. i’m scared you hate me. you won’t respond to me and i just wish i could take back what i said. i don’t tell you what’s bothering me for this exact reason. i don’t want to loose you. i need my best friend. i know i’m not your best friend. i know i don’t compare to katie or meghan, but regardless, i need you as my best friend. i hope you don’t tell them the things i tell you. i’m sorry for everything. i completely understand if you want to leave, but i hope you don’t.
